Who tells Jesus, “I’ll give you a shot” and means it? A 21 year old woman who has experienced rejection over and over – that’s who. At 21, the biggest wound in my life was rejection. Like everyone else, rejection in some way is a part of the life experience, and it starts early. No one escapes its cruel intent to get you to believe you are not worth it over time. So in my “surrender” I told Jesus, “You get a shot.”
It was Spring of 1986, my last year at the University of Arkansas. A long romantic relationship had AGAIN failed. The pattern repeated itself. I’d been attending the University Baptist Church with my boyfriend and his parents off and on over several years. The deal was this, if we would meet them at church, they would take us out for lunch afterwards. I thought, “that’s worth my time.” Little did I know the Word of God had planted in my life. That’s a real thing! I had no idea at the time, but planted it was.
So let me give you just a brief back story. I loved Christmas, Easter, the animated movie “The Little Drummer Boy” etc. I actually believed that Jesus was EXACTLY Who He said He was. The problem was, like most people, I couldn’t make Him “stick.” I mean, I wanted to live right and have good morals in Jesus’ eyes, and so forth. I just couldn’t keep it going. The world offered too much immediate pleasure and instant gratification. However, at this stage of my life, I’d come to a new territory that I later learned is called BROKENNESS. That brokenness led me to something I later learned was called SURRENDER.
SURRENDER is the KEY element in transformation. Pride and blame shifting are now off the table, and you are taking responsibility for the condition of your heart and life. THIS is a great place to start. Let’s unpack, this phrase “I’ll give you a shot.” I fully expected Jesus, the Savior of the World, to reject me once he really got to know me. Or, I would soon realize He wasn’t all I thought He was cracked up to be. Either way, this relationship would run its course and FAIL.
Several elements were in my favor - tenacity and the ability to hear the voice of God. I was determined to chase Him, learn about Him, study God’s Word - and so on until the relationship came to a natural end. What I didn’t realize is that from the get go, God would be the FAITHFUL one in this relationship. He would speak to me through His word, through experiencing His voice speaking to my heart and through the impressions and influences of His Holy Spirit. This relationship of over 30 years continues to amaze me. He didn’t disappoint! He doesn’t disappoint. What I’ve learned so far in my life with the Lord is this. People with “free will” choices disappoint. He never does.
I keep my heart and mind focused on the JOURNEY – day by day and little by little. Not in doing it perfect, which is where GRACE factors in, but being transformed as I press on!